so this whole schedule care business is super stressing me out. i honestly feel torn apart over it. mostly because its my last schedule card. theres no more after it. i sign up for classes for senior year and im done. the past week has all been talk about your future, and where your going to apply, and what colleges want. but what about what i want? when did that seem not to matter? why am i looked down upon for wanting to take certain things? its senior year! i should not have to be forced to do something i don't want to. i honestly don't care about college right now. ill get in where i get in, ill do what i do, i'm going to be fine. i just hate the pressure. i hate the fact that my conselour can look at my schedule card and tell me "colleges arnt looking for that" and make me feel bad. its what i want. it what i choose. isnt senior year supposed to be about freedom? the last hoorah? this year, i changed my mind about a dozen times. i went from not taking math or science to taking both. i went from taking AP english to 12-1. mostly because im going to do what i want. what i feel is going to be good for me. so im taking fundamentals in physics. because i dont want to struggle. i know what i can and can't do. math isnt my strong point, im done lying and faking. i love social studies. and this year i will shine. screw adams and the conselours and all of the pretentiousness. im not going to be a doctor. im not going to be a lawyer or an engineer. im 17 and i don't know yet. i have so much of life to live and explore and try. i dont know exactly who i am , or who im going to be. but i know that ill never get there by faking it. so this is a big "fuck you" to all of stuck up imbasuls who are faking it, or pressuring 17 year olds to plan their lives right now. fuck you. just because you arnt happy with yourself and how you turned out doesnt mean i have to be that way. and to all of the kids blindly following these emotionless leaders, do what you love, and fuck everything else. dont let the system run your life. be who you want to be. and do what you want. enjoy the time while your young. we can all break our backs working when we are old and have nothing better to do.
rant over.
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